Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

My cantankerous beagle is very badly behaved at the dog park and always starts barking at the other dogs. Would pepper spray be an effective method to correct his inappropriate behavior?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

What are some of your favorite hip hop lyrics?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I told my 13-year-old daughter that she should never start a fight, but has my permission to end it. She got suspended for ending a fight that some other girl picked with her by hitting her then retreating. How do I handle the school’s response?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

NY retail worker safety law takes effect this week. Here’s what it does. - Gothamist

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I can read

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

What is your interpretation of the movie Rocky? What makes it a good film in your opinion?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Celebrity hairstylist Jesus Guerrero died of pneumonia and fungal infection, likely complications from AIDS - NBC News

I understand how hurricane paths work

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Vikingo closes historic Worlds Collide with impressive win over Chad Gable - Cageside Seats

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t buy bullshit

36-year-old sold her childhood home in Wisconsin to live and travel in a truck she spent $50,000 renovating: 'I don't have a single regret' - CNBC

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

What is a good comeback for when someone calls you flat?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Blink and your AI security playbook is out of date - Axios

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

If an abortion doesn’t affect you, why do people make it a big deal?

I see through liars

I actually pay taxes

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Watch an asteroid the size of an aircraft carrier make a close pass of Earth on June 5 - Space

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

What does it mean to you to live a life that reflects biblical values?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I can count

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is